Road Block

For cryin out loud. How can I be further away from opening my business than when I started, what four months ago?  I'm going backwards.

The To Do List germinates nightly. I should have kept better track of what I HAVE accomplished maybe I'd feel better.  I have a nagging feeling. What if I'm making a bigger list just so I can stall this?  Am I getting scared of failing? I had no clue what I was doing when I started this could I be guilty of self sabotage?

I'm already in this so deep does it matter what the market research answers are anymore? Do I really need a business plan? Will it change anything? I still want to go forward, I love this shit so much that I can't walk away.  Besides time is running out at 55 what am I waiting for?  Does it matter if I find out that the total market for photography in my county is $20,000 rather than $20,000,000? How big is the pot that I'm trying to carve out a chunk for myself? Am I a flake for not figuring this out first? I'm scared. I'm over my head. I can't even come up with those oh-so-important 3 defining words of my business.

What?  Original, Unique and Exclusive?  Sounds too extreme and I probably can't always deliver that. But I could work towards those terms.

What about Girlie, Different and Heady?  I don't even know what I mean by that.

Ok, Daring, Original and cool?  How can a 55 year old know what cool is?

What about the logo? What colors belong to my brand?  What is my BRAND?!?!?!  What the hell is the name of my damn company?  How many domains am I going to buy before I settle on the right one?  Why doesn't my husband just shake me by the shoulders until my brain falls back together again in sheer exasperation?  I'm exhausted running in circles.

If I decide to put money up for professional help which profession do I need the most?  Personal coach? Marketing wizard?  Website guru?  Network geek?  Workflow genius? Seasoned professional photographer?  An attorney?  Accountant?  Shrink?  Funeral director?  I'm paralyzed by the fear of not doing it right. I need a caped crusader.