Sami's Past Meets Present Shoot

Ok, that's it.  I'm out of excuses.  I have to blog now.  The new iMac is here and she's a bit of smart ass. So, no more, 'Oh I'm so skerred thing'.  We're doing this blogging thing. Period.  We are shooting pictures.   Period. 

RETRIEVING THE BRIDE 

Looking over her shoulder I watched Chad doing the new baby daddy thing. He did the step, rock, bounce thing like a pro and little five month old Zach was limp. Little legs dangling.  I tugged the lacing that ran up the back of Sami's wedding gown - we were just about ready to shoot and Dad had the baby covered so we were good to go. After the dress I took her outside and sat her down.

                                                                                                     

 I built a nest of tulle and hay her lay down in the middle of it. She looked up at me and we got these.

Wow!  Ok, let's just make things more difficult. (why oh why do I do these things?) In my head I wanted to pretend I was her wedding photographer, so I went back in time and retrieved Sami on her wedding day. And like a magic trick there she was in front of me. Bloomed. Gorgeous. Stunningly. 

I pretended she never got her gorgeous 'cover of Bride Magazine shot' and it was up to me to deliver it.  That if it didn't happen right now with me shooting it was never going to happen for her. That she would forever be left with no killer bridal portrait.

I got amped. I started to feel the burden. The full weight of this bride's hopes and dreams in my hands and if I screwed it up she would forever tell the tale of her wedding photographer from hell for the rest of her life. 

I looked harder through the lens. I stepped back.  Forward.  Walked around.  I took more time casing the set in front of me. That despite the imaginary pressure to hurry up, I needed to keep my cool and maybe even slow it down. I needed to really look at her so I could capture all that gorgeousness.  And I did. 

And it worked. The rest is history. This is the shoot that marked the change. It marked a regular day as a special day. A day that would separate all the things before it as the Before.  See my last post.

This was an important shoot for me and I love that I was able to recognize it immediately for what it was, even before the next shoot.  More pictures from this shoot coming up.

Lini in Florida, goodnight inkernet.

I Can Get The Shot

Meet Progress.  Progress is bee-u-tee-ful!  No, Progress is AMAZING. Freaking Gorgeous!  She's elegant. She feels like a cool drink on a Mississippi bayou. She rides along my side and makes me feel like I hung the moon. She's the unknot in the pit of my stomach, she's the 'life-is-good' feeling. She's the swoon in my heart.  Am I in love?

Yep.

The bride, Sami, on this page represents all the above. Progress. Yes, of course I know if you keep putting one foot in front of the other you WILL make progress but I was clearly in the Turtle Lane. After miles and miles of dessert. After a several stampedes through our bank account. After all my doubt, angst and paralyzing fear.  The OMG's!  The horrible internal dialog I've been having with myself (I've always been a terrible best friend to myself.  its a wonder I get out of bed each day.  Well, sometimes I just don't because its THAT's painful.)

Ok, blah, blah, blah, you get the build up...

Back to progress. There was no hint that this shoot would be any different. No perspective to know that after today it would be known as the before. That today is the after.  Today there is confidence that 'I really can ALWAYS' get the shot. I've been shooting since 1979, my first Canon A-1, learning photography has been a manic relationship. A roller coaster of can I get the shot?  Can I control what I'm getting?  Can I go on a shoot and under pressure get the shot?  

Yes.

I.
Can.
Get.
The.
Shot.

I CAN GET THE SHOT!

As for my husband?  His heart doesn't seem to break like mine over pictures, he doesn't get the total OCDness I have.  He's much calmer. Can he get the shot?  He's at the 99% get the shot.  I think he's still in his before, even though he often out shoots me, he's still in his before.

Least thats what I'm telling him.   And, glory be, this B&W of Sami, is his now. And he rocked this shoot too, maybe he's 99.9?  Kind and loving wife that I am knows he's still in the Before, because well frankly, I'm the wife and I know these things.  ;)

I have new eyes

I'm not so happy today.  I seemed to have acquired 2 new things.  My eyes.  My new eyes.

They took a look at some of my own albums in iPhoto from just 4 months ago and guess what?  They kinda suck.  I see one problem after the next with every photo.  Some of the stuff that used to make my heart sing isn't so exciting today.  I see mediocore work. Or things that could have been simply tweeked and been way better.  WTF?

For tonight I'm just going to tuck this in the same file with everything else that's been resisting my progress since December 5th (when my email got hacked and appeared to set off a chain reaction of roadblocks and misfortune). Ok, before I go any further or try to become the newest (but oldest) new photographer in town I think I need to do a marathon shoot spree and just shoot the snot out of anything and everything and take a good look at what I see.


But this one is still good right?  'The Sultress'.

Road Block

For cryin out loud. How can I be further away from opening my business than when I started, what four months ago?  I'm going backwards.

The To Do List germinates nightly. I should have kept better track of what I HAVE accomplished maybe I'd feel better.  I have a nagging feeling. What if I'm making a bigger list just so I can stall this?  Am I getting scared of failing? I had no clue what I was doing when I started this could I be guilty of self sabotage?

I'm already in this so deep does it matter what the market research answers are anymore? Do I really need a business plan? Will it change anything? I still want to go forward, I love this shit so much that I can't walk away.  Besides time is running out at 55 what am I waiting for?  Does it matter if I find out that the total market for photography in my county is $20,000 rather than $20,000,000? How big is the pot that I'm trying to carve out a chunk for myself? Am I a flake for not figuring this out first? I'm scared. I'm over my head. I can't even come up with those oh-so-important 3 defining words of my business.

What?  Original, Unique and Exclusive?  Sounds too extreme and I probably can't always deliver that. But I could work towards those terms.

What about Girlie, Different and Heady?  I don't even know what I mean by that.

Ok, Daring, Original and cool?  How can a 55 year old know what cool is?

What about the logo? What colors belong to my brand?  What is my BRAND?!?!?!  What the hell is the name of my damn company?  How many domains am I going to buy before I settle on the right one?  Why doesn't my husband just shake me by the shoulders until my brain falls back together again in sheer exasperation?  I'm exhausted running in circles.

If I decide to put money up for professional help which profession do I need the most?  Personal coach? Marketing wizard?  Website guru?  Network geek?  Workflow genius? Seasoned professional photographer?  An attorney?  Accountant?  Shrink?  Funeral director?  I'm paralyzed by the fear of not doing it right. I need a caped crusader.

Sami Loves - Promo Video

Hah! I knew this was a lot harder than it looks. There is something very daunting about making a post. It shouldn't feel so serious. I'll work on that.

Sami Loves is a promotional video I made for Samantha Mediary Roth, who has a promising makeup artist career in front of her. We got together before the Jasmine Harper shoot and fired off a few shots. I was able to edit that into a promotional story line about her and her business 'Kiss & Make-up'.

More pictures from this shoot are coming. See? Boring post. So glad this is private blog.

Click Sami Loves in the prior post for the link.

Sami

Sami


Try clicking 'Sami' for the video link.

Beginnings & Underbellies

Ok, so what's the first thing you say, when it's the very first thing? 

Uh, Hi?, 

Uh Hi, it's me LJ?

Or it's me, the super graceful photographer you've seen up and down the beaches of Martin County photographing all those amazing people during the last 6 months. Oh, you saw me, fall in the ocean? Hmmm, well, yes, ok. You saw me trip over the teeniest of a sea shells sending me and the tripod on an amazing 331 choreographed steps of swan lake in clogs, woots and all? Yep, its me. Did I laugh the whole time too? Well, you know I do a lot to get my clients into character.

In the days to come I will drop installments of who I am and what Beauty & the Beach photography is all about, because, it's NOT just another photography company.

I'm supposed to tell you about me, show you who I am so that I attract clients who are, well, like me. The theory is, if you like my style, my photography, my viewpoint and understand my passion and commitment to my business then half of the job is already done for both of us.  Can it really be that simple? I don't know.

Well, this is what all those post recession self starters blogging gurus are telling me anyways, so here I am blinding going to a place that makes me incredibly venerable. (yeah, makes me totally queasy just thinking about it).  Our under bellies are just that.  Under.  Hidden, protected safe from it all. So rolling over and showing it is a wee bit more difficult than I thought it would be.  So here it begins.

First post.

Done.

(Somebody get me a cover up, a robe, a towel, my underbelly is cold.)